patterns

So after Friday's flashbacks I was in waiting mode. See, I've learned something...after the flashbacks come the emotions. This is actually really helpful. Because I feel less out of control. I also don't feel like the multiverse is having a go at me. Because I know the emotions are part of the pattern. They are never pretty. They are grief, fear, anger. And they are intense and usually overwhelming. But it is not so difficult when they are expected. It seems that when emotions are repressed they *are out in the parking lot doing pushups* until they get released.

I wrote in my Morning Pages the other day that someday I would like to be overwhelmed by happiness. Yeah.