relief?

Maybe, just maybe there is a little lift in the depression and a moving through some of the worst of the grief and pain. One can only hope. One sign? I've been cleaning for the first time in over a year. Oh yeah, it was needed long before that. But I couldn't do it. Not that I was living in flith. Not exactly. Just doing the very least possible to NOT be living in filth. Lately I've been taking buckets of soapy water to everything. It has been good. I think this is the first time in my life, ever, that I have cleaned and NOT been ragefully angry about it. It just needs done. I've been using a series of yoga poses to try and release some of the lifelong repressed rage. Maybe that is what is going on here. Move a little of the rage get movement for other things.
One thing that I've been learning about it that whole emotions stored in the body thing. Like people would say, notice where in your body thus and such is. Sure, sure. I had no fucking idea how to do that. Finally, my body speaks. Yes, it speaks in pain. But the yoga poses help to move the pain, to move it through, so I don't hold it.
It's a good thing.