I am recovering from bronchitis and a sinus infection. Blargh!

But I consciously chose the cough medicine without the codeine. Yep. Good choice for me.

And while I have been ill I have not been idle in my head. Oh no.

I'm working around accepting that *toxic* is what we call how my family system works. I'm working with that because when I hear that I hear *my family system is evil* and then I judge not just the system but myself and then I feel guilty because my family system is broken. (It's a lovely space inside my head. Especially when i am ill and sleep a lot.)

My family system IS toxic. It IS broken. a lot of really insane stuff has been passed to me and, naturally, I assumed that this is the way the rest of the humans operate too. I am finding that while the rest of the humans may have some sort of broken system of their own, the one I grew up in was quite nasty.

That's actually okay. Cause I'm trying NOT to pass on the nastiness and trying to see it and change it for myself.

I tell people that I was raised by wolves. I would probably function better on a social level if I had been. If my dogs are anything to go by.

Right now, I am trying not to harrass myself about this but to find the quiet space in myself and let the healing work. Cause I think I make it worse for myself by thinking I need to stir things up and really, the universe does not need my help. Just my willingness.