I'm doing a fourth step.  I mentioned that.  I'm not done yet but here are some interesting things that have come up:

I blow full steam ahead into relationships (of any ilk) in which I am not heard.  I am like Sunshine with a new bone.  I try more and more colourful, descriptive language to try to get myself heard.  I cling to these relationships even though I feel abandoned by them while they are happening.  I dog them with words as I try to be heard.  Just like I did as a kid with my mother.  It didn't work then and it doesn't work now.  Interesting that I peruse relationships in which I feel abandoned. 

Now to work out how to not do that. 

I am not done working my way through my list but this seems to be a theme.  That and reacting to things that trigger me into a flashback and I don't yet remember to remind myself that I am not that child still.  Cause that's what it feels like.