Here/Not Here

I am having buckets of flashbacks and triggers. It's disturbing. But it also leaves me wondering HOW did I NOT have them before? Or did I and I just pretended they weren't important? Just treated the physical pain that comes in their wake with advil which I am not supposed to take.
Must have.

I went to the second Getting Strated class tonight and learned that there is a name for what I've been doing breaking down difficult work into little pieces. It is called containment. Huh.

Now I can wait for someone to call to set up therapy.

I have been looking at the coping mechanisms that I used/ use. That is difficult. Perhaps I'll share those soon. But not tonight.